


Through Space And Time

by butzichen



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 11:15:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18475114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butzichen/pseuds/butzichen
Summary: „Barry!“ He turns around, just in time to see Caitlin getting swallowed by a breach. Time stills as she disappears into the swirling purple light, only her hand still sticking out. Before Barry can think about it, he grabs her hand, pushes forward and lets himself get dragged into the breach as well...





	1. Chapter 1

„Barry!“ He turns around, just in time to see Caitlin getting swallowed by a breach. Time stills as she disappears into the swirling purple light, only her hand still sticking out. Before Barry can think about it, he grabs her hand, pushes forward and lets himself get dragged into the breach as well.

 

They find themselves lying on the ground on a dark deserted street. “You okay?”, Barry asks as he starts getting up. Nodding, Caitlin takes his outstretched hand and he pulls her up as well. “Where are we?” she wonders as they look around trying to find some clue to their whereabouts. “No idea,” he responds quietly, staying close to her. They are surrounded by some residential homes on either side of the street. Through the darkness of the night, he can’t distinguish any street signs. The quiet is starting to make him feel uneasy. Who brought them here? And why? “Maybe I should get us away from here?” he offers before realizing that Caitlin has been staring at one house, frozen.

“What is it?” he wonders following her gaze, but unable to make out anything out of the ordinary. He puts a hand on her arm. “Cait?” She swallows. “It can’t be…. It’s not possible.” “What can’t be?” When she doesn’t react, he steps in front of her, catching her gaze. Her eyes finally focus on him and she whispers. “This is my house. This is where I grew up.” Seeing the question in his eyes, she goes on. “After my dad ‘died’, we moved away. My mother couldn’t deal with the memories, I guess. But I used to drive by regularly until … until the house was torn down. Barry, this whole block doesn’t exist anymore….” Barry tries to take in what she just said. How could this be? A part of him wants to ask if she is sure. But he knows she is. Taking a deep breath, he tries to make sense of this.  
“We might be on a parallel earth,” he offers. “Maybe,” she concedes, “but this tree right there, we only had that until I was about seven…” “Still it’s possible,” he insists. “Except it’s the middle of the night,” she replies slowly, “not early afternoon anymore…. so unless we were in that breach for hours…” “We’ve traveled through time,” he finishes for her. 

“There goes my master plan of running you back home,” Barry states dryly. “The others must be going out of their minds,” she voices her concern. “I’m more worried about us right now,” Barry replies, “I don’t know if I can run us both back to our time…” “You should go.” He looks at her taken aback. “You can always come back for me, send the Waverider or something,” she explains. Barry shakes his head with vigor. “No way am I leaving you here alone. We still don’t know when we are exactly, who brought us here or why.” “It’s time travel, I would only be alone for a second,” she insists, trying to be brave. “Yeah right, cause nothing ever goes wrong when time travel is involved,” he declares sarcastically, “somebody wanted you here at this time, so until we know more, I’m not leaving your side.” She nods, trying to hide her relief but Barry still notices some tension leaving her. 

 

Together they approach the house, careful not to make any noises. As they step through the garden, Caitlin whispers. “Thank you, by the way” “For what?” “For being here,” she adds softly, “you risked your life coming through that breach with me.” “I had no choice, I wasn’t going to lose you,” he murmurs firmly. Looking over, he catches her glance, unable to read the expression in her eyes. But before he can wonder about it, she turns and keeps moving forward. 

Caitlin heads straight to the window that’s lit from the inside, maybe this being her childhood garden makes her more daring. But her determination only makes Barry more nervous. He’s casting his eyes around trying to spot anything suspicious, but everything seems so peaceful. “Look,” Caitlin says as she’s staring through the window. Barry edges next to her, taking in the scene unfolding in the living room. A five-year-old Caitlin is sitting in her father’s lab, as he seems to be reading from a book. The little girl keeps pointing at the book and interrupting her dad, who just smiles at her before answering her questions. At some point, a younger Carla Tannhauser walks in, placing a kiss on her daughter’s cheek and her husband’s lips, before settling next to him and listening to the story as well.  
Barry looks over to Caitlin, who’s still gazing through the window with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes. He gently takes her hand and gives it a squeeze, but when she doesn’t let go right away, he readily keeps her hand in his. “I remember this,” she whispers, “I got that book for my birthday and my dad read it to me every night.” “You seem happy.” “We were.”  
After a while, Barry murmurs gently. “Cait, we have to go. We can’t stay here.” She nods, wiping away her tears. “You’re right.” “I’m sorry,” Barry adds, wishing he could let her watch this forever. But someone brought them here for a reason and the calm is making him uneasy. Every second he expects someone to attack them and every second that passes, and nothing happens, has him on edge. So he tucks her forward, not wanting to let go of her. And it is a good thing he didn’t because suddenly he feels her hand pulling his down. Turning he realizes another breach has opened under her feet, as she is being sucked in, she pulls him with her. At first, he tries to lift her back up, but he’s not strong enough to defy the pull of the breach combined with gravity, so he jumps right in with her.

 

The first thing his body is registering is that Caitlin’s hand is still in his. The next thing he sees is a lake. “You okay?” he asks turning towards her. Her hair is a little disheveled and there’s some dirt on her sweater that he brushes off, but she looks okay as she gives him a determined nod. They start taking in their surroundings. The lake lies in the middle of a forest with a few cabins along the shore. The closest cabin seems familiar... Because he has seen it on a picture in Caitlin’s apartment. This was the place her family had spent a lot of vacations together.  
“Well, I’m starting to see a pattern here,” he states dryly. “I guess now we only need to figure out when we are,” she adds, looking around for clues. “Should we head closer to the cabin?” Barry wonders, feeling too exposed next to the lake. Caitlin nods and starts walking with Barry close behind. All his attention is focused on the cabin, expecting someone to come out at any moment. Only glancing over at Caitlin every few seconds to make sure she’s okay. When all of a sudden, an icy blast hits him from behind and sends him flying into the woods. 

Caitlin’s head snaps around to find Icicle standing behind her. “You were supposed to come alone.” By the time she has spun around completely, her hair is white and Frost has taken over. “We’re not supposed to do anything,” she snarls as she sends an ice blast in his direction. When Icicle recovers from the blow, Barry has reappeared next to Frost. Zeroing in on him and true to his name, he sends icicle after icicle towards Barry, but Barry dodges them easily. “What do I have to do to get rid of you,” Icicle utters annoyed as Barry reclaims his place next to Caitlin. Unfazed, Barry puts one hand on her arm, ready to speed them away if necessary.  
“Why did you bring her here’” Barry demands to know. But Icicle just stares back. “That’s between me and my daughter.” “We’re not your daughter,” Frost bites back, using her ice breath to throw the alter ego of her father off balance. Icicle’s eyes narrow as he gets back up. “Yes, you are! And you will see that. But first…” Another ice blast heads towards Barry, but Frost just puts up a shield of ice around them.  
“Let’s go!” Not needing any more encouragement from her, Barry lifts Caitlin up in his arms and speeds them away. 

 

“Where are we?" Caitlin asks, as he puts her down on the ground, letting one hand linger on her arm. “Or when are we?”, she adds carefully, taking in the city surrounding them, she can’t make out a lot of it from the alley they are standing in. “Not when, just where,” Barry responds while trying to catch his breath, “I’m sorry, Cait, I tried, but I couldn’t run fast enough to open a breach.” “It’s okay,” she reassures him, “it might not even be about speed, maybe you can’t take someone with you through time.” That thought has already crossed his own mind, still, he had tried to go as fast as he could, but no luck.

“Maybe you should try it alone, Barry.” “No way, I told you, I’m not leaving you.” “I don’t think Icicle is going to hurt me and you would only be gone for a second,” Caitlin says slowly. But Barry shakes his head vehemently. “And that’s all it would take for you to get swallowed by another breach and I wouldn’t even know where or when to find you. No way, that’s exactly what he wants.” Caitlin looks down at his hand still lingering on her arm, as a smile appears on her lips. “Is that why you haven’t let go of me?”  
Barry’s eyes travel to his hand as well, it hadn’t been a conscious decision, but twice in the last few hours his heart had stopped afraid that he was going to lose her, swallowed up by a portal, taken to the unknown, and he has lost her too many times to go through that again.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but I need to know that you’re not going to disappear on me in a blink,” Barry murmurs before slowly lifting his eyes to hers. But Caitlin just takes a step forward and wraps her arms around him, holding tight. “Thank you,” she whispers, as he envelopes her in turn. 

“So *where* are we?” Caitlin asks again after a while. “Star City,” Barry replies, “or Starling City, I guess. I thought Central City would be too obvious, but maybe this is as well.” “We don’t know how those breaches work, maybe Icicle or whoever is creating them needs to know where we are. Or be in close proximity.” “Maybe,” Barry concedes, “or maybe they can sense us and open them whenever wherever.” Caitlin’s biting her lower lip, lost in her own worries, before looking back up at Barry. “Then we need to do something about that. And I think Starling City is just the right place for that, or rather Queen Industries.” Barry can see the determination flash through her eyes. “I gather you have an idea.”

 

“This doesn’t seem very safe” Caitlin whispers as she tugs on Barry’s hand, “what if there are cameras that catch us?” Barry smiles at her fidgeting hands. “This was your idea, Dr. Snow.” She sighs. “I know.” “You said it yourself, we need their tech if we want to make a device that can track you through time.” “Us through time.” “Us through time.” Barry smiles at her. “Look, we’ll enter Flashtime, so the cameras won’t pick us up. We’ll be in and out before you’ll know it.” He gives her hand a squeeze. “I would love to flash in and be back in a second, but unfortunately I can’t leave you, even for that long, which is why we are doing this in the first place.”  
Caitlin closes her eyes for a second, still uneasy. “I could go,” Frost’s voice offers. “No, it’s okay, I’ll go. We need to find the right tech fast.” She takes a deep breath, opens her eyes and focuses them on Barry. His encouraging smile seems to chase her last worries away, leaving her filled with determination. Barry returns her gaze, the intensity of it making him feel weak in the knees. He swallows, pushing his feelings back down, before phasing them through the wall of Queen Industries and into Flashtime.

Slowly but focused, they make their way through the laboratory, pocketing everything they might need as they go along. “I hate having to steal,” Caitlin murmurs. “Me too,” Barry agrees. “But it’s not like they would let us pay for it even if we had enough money on us. And it’s more like we’re borrowing from a friend anyway,” he adds with a wink. “I’m not sure Oliver’s parents would agree.” But she’s smiling despite herself.  
“We’re burning up.” “I know, Frost, but we’re nearly done.” Caitlin grabs the last items on their list and Barry gets them away from Queen Industries before anybody can notice their presence or the tech's absence.  
Barry is holding on tight to Caitlin as he runs them through the streets of Starling City. With the sun starting to set in the distance, his feet carry him towards familiarity.

 

“Why are we standing in front of the Queen mansion?” Caitlin wonders as they come to a halt. “Because we need a place to stay. It’s already the middle of the night for us and we need to rest,” Barry explains. “So what’s your plan? Ring the doorbell and say we’re Oliver’s friends from the future?” A laugh escapes Barry’s lips. “No, I was thinking more along the lines of sneaking in.” Caitlin looks at him with raised eyebrows, but Barry just puts an arm around her shoulders and pulls her close. “Trust me, that place is huge, no one will notice us if we stay in one of the unused guestrooms, I mean there’s a whole wing that’s just guestrooms.” Barry can feel her leaning in, letting her head rest on his shoulders. Maybe she’s putting on more of a brave front than he realized. “They don’t even know about metahumans, we’ll be safe, I promise.” She nods and Barry speeds them in, making a quick stop in the Queen’s kitchen to gather some food.

 

As they enter an unused guestroom at the farthest corner of the mansion, they quickly lock the door and pull the curtains in front of the window, before settling down on the bed, the food and stolen materials spread in front of them. They work in silence, trying to make a tracker whose signal can be picked up through space and time, which turns out to be way more difficult without their resident mechanical engineer. Barry makes a point to put some food in Caitlin’s hand every few minutes until he’s convinced she’s eaten enough, all the while making sure that some parts of their bodies are always touching, most of the times, his hand resting on her knee or her back. 

Though it’s been a while since the last breach opened, this fact doesn’t calm him down at all, on the contrary, he’s growing more and more anxious, convinced that she’ll disappear in front of him at any second. As if she’s sensing his uneasiness, Caitlin scooches closer. “I’m not going anywhere,” she promises. “I don’t think that’s up to you,” he mumbles, even though for some irrational reason, her words do ease some of his worries.  
“How are you holding up,” he wonders gently, “we haven’t really talked about your father yet.” She sighs but puts down her work and repositions herself so she can look at him.

“I don’t know. With Cicada keeping us busy, I managed not to think about him too often. I knew he would be back at some point and I haven’t given up on saving my father from his alter ego, but I didn’t think he would actually come back and kidnap me.” Barry takes a hold of her hands, squeezing them gently. “As you said, he doesn’t seem to want to harm you, or he wouldn’t take you back to your childhood memories.” “He probably wants to get me on his side, making me remember the good times… as if I’ve ever forgotten them. But the man in those memories is my father, Thomas Snow, not Icicle. So I don’t know what he thinks he’ll accomplish with this.” “Maybe just show you that he remembers them as well, that Thomas is still a part of him,” Barry offers slowly. “I hope so.” She gives him a sweet smile, but there is a sadness in her eyes, that makes Barry’s heart clench. He wishes he could take all the sadness away, but all he can do is give her a warm hug and hope to at least ease some of it.

 

“Maybe we should try and get some sleep, I don’t think we’ll be able to finish this tracker anytime soon.” Caitlin nods, putting all the parts in an empty backpack, they’ve found forgotten in a corner of the room, and knotting it around her ankle. She suddenly looks up at Barry, frightened. “What if a breach opens while we’re asleep?”  
“I have an idea,” he replies determined, before grabbing the rope of the curtains and tying it around his wrist and then hers. “Kinky,” she grins, before stretching herself out next to him on the bed. Barry pulls the blanket over both of them, settling in on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Though his body is exhausted, his mind is still racing, going over everything that happened in the last twenty-four hours. 

 

“Do you think Cisco is very worried?” Caitlin whispers into the dark. “I’m sure he’s doing everything he can to find us, maybe he’ll even succeed before we do,” Barry tries to comfort her. “I’m sorry you got dragged into this. You must miss Iris a lot and she’s probably worried sick about you too, and all because of me.”  
Barry’s voice catches in his throat as he realizes that he hasn’t spent a single thought on his wife since the first breach opened up in Starlabs and tried to take Caitlin away from him. “It’s okay, I’m fine. And none of this is your fault. It’s my choice to be here and I would choose … this… every time.” He swallows, he had nearly said ‘you’.  
He can feel Caitlin move a little closer before starting to turn to her side, but with her back to him and her arm on her side, the rope isn’t long enough and tugs Barry’s hand along. So he turns to his side as well, putting one arm over her head, the other over her side, framing her back with his body. He holds his breath for a beat unsure if she would mind this position, but she just leans into his touch, murmuring softly. “I’m glad you’re here with me.” “Me too.” 

 

Shortly afterwards, he can hear Caitlin’s breathing become more regular and he knows she’s drifted off to sleep. As he lies there, cuddling her, his thoughts keep racing through his head. How had he not wasted any thoughts on Iris, the woman he supposedly loves. But the breach had threatened to take Caitlin away from him and he had just acted, knowing in his bones that he wasn’t going to let anything or anyone take her away again. He’s aware that she has been kidnapped a few times, mostly by his enemies, and rationally speaking, she is his friend, his best friend and he is always going to protect her. But lately, actually ever since he came back from the past, after having to witness Zoom taking her once more, something had opened up deep inside of him, some wounds he didn’t even know were there. Even though he had known that everything would end well for her, seeing it again, brought it all back, the fear, the pain, the guilt, eating him up, washing over him, drowning him. Knowing Caitlin was at Zoom’s mercy, having no speed and being unable to protect her, save her, had broken him more than he had ever admitted, even to himself. It had hurt so much, that after he got her back, he had unconsciously put some distance between them, protected his heart from dealing with that intense pain again. But now the stitches were ripped open and everything he had been keeping way way down was flowing out, making him feel things he couldn’t explain away rationally. He tugs her even closer to him, letting the feel of her steady heartbeat calm his own. Though he doesn’t know what all of this means for him, or for them, right now he’s content in the knowledge that she’s close and safe.

 

The moment Barry wakes up the next morning, he is wide awake. Everything that happened comes rushing back, but when his eyes land on Caitlin’s form draped over his chest, his arm across her shoulders, he can’t help the smile that spreads across his face nor the thought how nice it would be to wake up next to her every day to cross his mind. But a part of him is still worried that Icicle didn’t try anything during the night, he thought for sure that was his plan, wait for them to be asleep to take Caitlin away. Barry’s fingers keep brushing her shoulders lightly, too lost in his thoughts to realize how normal their closeness feels. 

After a while, Caitlin starts to stir in her sleep, slowly opening her eyes and blinking up at him. “Hey,” she mumbles with a sweet smile that would always be met by his own smile. “Morning.” He expects her to move away from him, kind of embarrassed himself by their position now that she’s awake. But she just yawns deeply, furrowing herself deeper in his arms, the sigh escaping her lips making his heart beat faster.  
“Cait?” Though her unguardedness is tugging at his heartstrings, he knows they shouldn’t stay here much longer, they need to finish the tracker and get moving. For a moment Caitlin stills, before heaving herself up with a sigh. “I know, I know, we’re stuck in the past and we need to finish the tracker before Icicle finds us.” 

“I think, he already has,” Barry replies alarmed, as a breach starts to form next to them. He quickly makes sure they have all of their belongings, while the portal grows bigger and closer, and with a look at each other, they hold on tight as they ready themselves for whatever lies ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realized a little too late that Barry has actually already taken Snart with him through time, but I'm taking the creative license to ignore that ;)


	2. Chapter 2

They did not expect to land in front of a school, the courtyard filled to the brim with children and parents. “Oh,” Caitlin points to a poster on a wall, “science fair.” Barry hastily unwraps the rope from their wrists, as they start to get weird stares from the crowd. He quickly drags Caitlin around a corner to a more deserted area, where she unknots the backpack and Barry stashes the rope inside, before taking a hold of her hand.   
“Do you think we’re presentable enough?” Caitlin wonders trying to flatten her clothes that look a little wrinkled from sleeping in them. “I think we have to be,” Barry replies warily, “we should go find out why he brought us here.” “Or we could have some breakfast first,” Caitlin replies with a smirk, “there used to always be a really good food truck out front and I’m going to need a coffee if I’m going to face him.” Barry digs out his wallet from his pocket, relieved to see that he’s carrying enough cash to get them through a few more days if necessary. “Well, I guess I’m buying,” he winks at her, “since your wallet is safely stowed away in the future.” “The downsides to a purse,” she grins before tugging him along. 

 

Sipping their coffee and sharing a soft pretzel, they walk hand in hand through the school grounds, while Caitlin keeps remembering and pointing out stuff from her childhood. “This would actually be fun if I didn’t expect to get attacked at any moment,” she says as they make their way through the stands of the science fair. “Maybe we should slip away and try and work on the tracker,” Barry mumbles as he keeps casting his eyes around the room.   
“Hello,” an older looking woman approaches them with a smile, “I’m Principal Plotts, can I help you find your child’s stand?” “Oh,” Barry looks over at Caitlin a little helpless, he didn’t expect them to get mistaken for parents, then again, it might be worse if they weren’t. “Thank you that’s very kind, but we know where it is,” Caitlin replies calmly, “we’re just taking a look around, you know, at the competition.” The principal returns her laugh, before shaking their hands and moving along to the next pair of wandering parents.  
“You’re way too good at this,” Barry mumbles as they continue through the rows. “You’re really not,” she replies with a grin. 

“Oh god,” she suddenly mutters, pulling Barry behind a column. “What?” Barry wonders after checking for any sign of Icicle. “See that girl over there?” she asks pointing with her head in the direction of a pretty girl with long blond hair dressed in a very pink outfit. “Yeah?” “That’s Lexi LaRoche.” “Oh,…Want to freeze her?” Barry inquires with a smirk, “We have powers, we could easily mess with her. Maybe get some revenge?” Caitlin sighs. “Tempting, very tempting… But maybe we should try not to mess up the timeline.” “Always a stickler for the rules, Dr. Snow,” Barry grins but puts a comforting arm around her shoulders, guiding her away from her childhood bully.   
“My stand is over there, by the way, but I don’t think we should get too close, interacting with past me might be dangerous.” “Yeah, you’re right,” Barry agrees, “though I would have loved to see little Caitlin and her project.” Caitlin rolls her eyes. “Let’s find an empty classroom and work on the tracker.”

 

“It broke, you know,” Caitlin suddenly starts, as they walk through the hallways towards the other side of the school, “my project, the night before the fair. So my dad and I spent all night fixing it. It was the last time he was there to help me with it…” Her voice breaks. “I’m sorry,” Barry pulls her closer, rubbing her arm with his hand.   
“I used to love the science fair, you know, but the year after my mom died and with my dad in prison, I refused to do anything. Joe tried so hard to get me excited for it again, he even built me a volcano, the only project he knew how to do, but I still refused. In the end, Joe took me with him to work and showed me the CSI lab and how they used science to prove that somebody was guilty or innocent. That’s when I finally got back into science, with a new purpose.” Caitlin looks up at him and they share a sad smile, feeling connected deep down.

 

They round another corner into a deserted hallway, well not completely deserted, for Icicle is standing in the middle of it. In an instant Barry is in front of Caitlin, shielding her from whatever attack they’re most likely facing, making sure all the while to keep her hand in his. But he doesn’t need to worry about her safety because he can feel her hand grow colder, a clear sign that Frost has come out to play.   
“Woah, I’m not here to fight you,” Icicle calls out with his hands up. “Yeah? Then why don’t I believe you,” Frost spits out, stepping next to Barry, cold mist swirling around her free hand. Icicle sighs. “I’m sorry about our last encounter, I wanted to get Caitlin on my own and I was mad that I couldn’t get rid of him,” his head points towards Barry whose eyes are flashing with the speed force running through him, ready to move. “But I had some time to think while we tracked you,” Icicle goes on, taking a few slow steps towards them. Barry can tell by her sudden stillness, that she has also picked up on Icicle’s use of ‘we’, clearly he has a partner in charge of the breaches.   
“And I realized that the two of you seem to only come as a pair and I’ve accepted that. So no more fighting, I promise.” He smiles as he slowly lowers his hands, now standing only a few feet in front of them. “What do you want then?” Frost asks, but Barry can hear Caitlin’s voice mixed in there. “To talk.” When neither of them moves, Icicle adds, “I need your help.”

“Why should we trust you?” Only Caitlin’s voice this time. “Because you know I’m dying, you diagnosed it yourself, Caity. And if I die, the last piece of Thomas dies with me.” “If I give you the serum, he dies anyway, so what do you expect me to do?” “I expect you to realize that he would not be completely gone. As long as I’m still here, so is he. Don’t you see, Caity? Everything I showed you, all the memories, your father lives on inside of me.” Icicle looks at Caitlin intently, taking another step towards her and slowly reaching out with his hand.   
“What do you think this is? A Disney movie?” Frost is back and before Icicle can blink, Barry has sped them further away. “So what?” Icicle’s smile turns into an evil grin, “you’re just going to let your father die?” Barry shares a look with Caitlin. “Not if you play by our rules,” he states calmly, “send us back to our time, come to Starlabs willingly and place yourself in our charge and we’ll try to find a way to save you without erasing her father.” 

For a second, Barry thinks it worked. Icicle seems to relax, letting his head droop down, so Barry looks over at Caitlin, making sure she’s okay and still on the same wavelength. But that’s all it takes for an ice shard to pierce his lung. Suddenly he can’t breathe anymore, dropping to the ground.   
“Barry!” he can hear Caitlin’s scream rip through the air, he wants to get back up, tell her not to worry, but his legs aren’t moving, his throat is screaming, his eyes growing heavy. He can see Frost take over, sending an ice blast towards her father’s alter ego that throws him straight through the hallway, before creating her ice slide and pulling Barry on it. The floor grows farther away from him as everything goes black.

 

 

As Barry slowly comes to, the first thing he sees is Caitlin, sitting at his bedside. A small smile appears on his face, some things never change. Gradually he can make out the rest of his surroundings, they seem to be in some kind of motel room, based on the generic furnishings. He still feels exhausted, but his breathing comes normally, no more trace of the injury.   
“Hey,” his throat still feels a little raw, but this seems unimportant compared to the relieved smile that spreads across Caitlin’s face, realizing he’s awake. “How long was I out?” he asks, as he props himself up on the pillows. “Just a few hours,” Caitlin’s voice seems hoarse too, as if she’s been crying. “How did you…?” Barry asks, his hand brushing the place where the ice shard had pierced his lung. “My ice healing, your speed healing,” Caitlin explains with a small smile. Barry nods.

“Hey, are you okay?” “Yeah, I'm fine.” “Cait?” She swallows. “Okay, not really. Things just kind of got real, you know.” Barry pulls her down next to him, wrapping his arm around her. “I know. But I’m okay, we’re okay,” he tries to comfort her, rubbing his hand up and down her arm, but he can see the tears in her eyes still threatening to spill. “Talk to me.” She sighs. “I know that we’ve been stuck in the past, but we’re together, we still have our powers and I even kind of enjoyed the trip down memory lane. Plus, I didn’t expect Icicle to actually want to hurt us, I do believe he needs our help. So I let my guard down and you paid the price.”   
“I let my guard down too,” Barry reassures her, “and I’m fine, I promise.” She nods. “But suddenly I was all alone, you were hurt and unconscious and I needed to get us both to safety, treat your wounds. All of a sudden being stuck in the past became very real; no team, no Starlabs, no equipment, no… you.” Barry pulls her closer, enveloping her with both his arms. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs into her hair, holding her until he knew she felt better. Guilt is eating at his insides, he knows it wasn’t his fault, or theirs, that Icicle had tricked them, but he should have been more vigilant. Truth was that he had started to enjoy their time together, being alone with Caitlin had been a rarity recently and he hadn’t realized how much he has missed her. And even though he wanted to get them back to the present, so she would be safe, a part of him didn’t mind if their trip to the past took a little longer. But he had been selfish. If he wanted to spend more time with Caitlin, he could do so without any intervention from their enemies, he just needed to stop hiding behind excuses.

 

“I finished the tracker,” Caitlin suddenly points out. “That’s great! Now we just need to figure out if it works.” They both sit up cross-legged on the bed and examine the device. “I hope we’re right and that Cisco can manage to pick up our signal with the Starlabs computers,” Caitlin mutters worriedly. “I’m sure Cisco has been working on this nonstop since we’ve disappeared, it’s going to work,” Barry reassures her.   
They are silent for a moment, then Caitlin speaks up again. “Barry, I think you need to go back and make sure that the tracker works.” Barry looks at her, his mouth wide open. “What?” she wonders. “You know, you’re the bravest, most amazing person I’ve ever known. You just told me how scared you were to be stuck in the past all alone and now you’re telling me, once again, to leave you here.” “Well, we can’t just sit around and wait and hope that Cisco picks up the signal, manages to track us and send something to help us,” she argues determined. “Oh, I agree,” Barry smiles, “but I’m still not going to leave you. What if it doesn’t work, what if I come back here and you’re gone? I’ll have no way to find you. So no, I won’t go.”   
“So we’re just going to wait and do nothing?” she asks surprised. “Not exactly. We know now that Icicle has a partner who’s responsible for the breaches. Probably another meta, right?” Caitlin nods, as Barry continues. “So I was thinking, we should try to get to him. He can obviously send us back. And just in case anything happens and we get separated, we hopefully have the tracker as a plan B.” Caitlin looks at him, then nods determined and fastens the tracker on her wrist. “Okay, let’s do that. But this time, we won’t listen to anything Icicle has to say, if he shows up, we attack,” she adds resolved.

They don’t have to wait long before the familiar glow of the portal appears once more. Unsure what’s waiting for them or which tactic Icicle will use this time, but set on finding their way to the breacher and home, they step through the portal.

 

 

They are greeted by twinkling lights, a cacophony of noises and the smell of cotton candy. Around them are stands luring customers to try their luck in a game of chance or go on a variety of rides, and looming above it all a big Ferris wheel. Barry turns towards Caitlin who’s taking all of it in, her eyes shining brightly in the gleam of the carnival.   
“We used to come here every year,” she whispers, her voice barely audible over the different kinds of music coming from the nearby stands. “My father would always try to win me a giant teddy bear, while my mother would insist that a girl needs to be able to win one for herself,” Caitlin goes on grinning widely at the memories, “and I would eat so many sweets until I felt like puking, but still insisted on trying every ride on the fair.” Barry laughs trying to imagine her as a child pulling her parents excitedly from one game to the next. He holds on tighter to her hand. “Well then, show me your favorites!” She grins at him, forgotten their worries and their plan not to get distracted, as she pulls him through the crowd. 

 

“Really, the fun house?” Barry asks a little incredulous. “Yes, one of my favorites as a child,” Caitlin replies. “Why?” he wonders as he pays for the tickets. “Because I always wanted to figure out how everything works, every trick, trap, illusion,… I wouldn’t rest until I’ve figured it out,” she explains as they make their way up a stair with moving steps. Barry laughs, that sounds more like her.   
They balance through a dark rotating tunnel, jump over waterjets, try to find their way through a mirror maze, all the while fighting fits of laughter, grabbing the other before they can lose their balance or holding onto each other just for fun. Afterwards they eat some fries and a hot dog, as they keep strolling across the fair, watching the kids on the carousel and the bumper cars. At which point, Frost chimes in that she wouldn’t mind a ride in the bumper cars, but Caitlin vetoes the idea. 

“So, how much do you remember from being Oliver Queen,” Caitlin demands with a devilish grin. “Why?” he asks, unsure what she has in mind, but then he spots the booth she’s been looking at. “Make your luck with a bow and arrow,” shouts a salesperson behind the stand, “see if you can shoot as well as Robin Hood.” “Or the Green Arrow,” Caitlin adds with a smirk. “Challenge accepted,” Barry grins, as he steps closer and takes hold of the gear.   
Trying to mimic Oliver’s stance, he’s aiming at the revolving figures in the back of the stand, when he feels Caitlin’s stare. “What?” he asks. “Nothing,” she says but he can see she’s blushing. “Just remembering you in the Green Arrow outfit,” she mumbles quietly. Barry can’t help but grin as he lets the arrow soar through the air and completely miss the target. “So not much,” Caitlin says trying to hold back a laugh. Barry just sticks out his tongue, before laughing as well and pulling her in for a hug. 

 

Arm in arm, they continue to wander the stands, now and then playing a game or another until Barry actually manages to win a little stuffed penguin which he gallantly offers to Caitlin. They decide to share a cotton candy before finally stopping in front of the Ferris wheel. “Shall we?” Barry wants to know. Caitlin nods enthusiastically and together they squeeze into the seat. With the air blowing a little frostier up high, Caitlin snuggles closer to Barry who in turn puts his arm around her shoulders pulling her close. 

“I might be a bad person for saying this,” Barry admits, “but I’m enjoying this minivacation immensely.” Caitlin sighs. “I think we might be the worst people on the planet, but I haven’t had this much fun in a very long time.” “This is so wrong,” she goes on though, “only a few hours ago, we decided not to let our guard down anymore, not to get distracted. Icicle could have attacked us at any moment, I don’t even know what his endgame is anymore.” “Lure us into a false sense of security?” “Great,” Caitlin replies sarcastically, ”on top of it, our team at home is probably going crazy trying to find us, worrying, and we’re here enjoying ourselves.” Barry sighs. “I know, but I can’t help it, even knowing all of this, I’m really happy right now.” “Me too,” Caitlin agrees with a content sigh this time.   
“I mean, maybe, they aren’t even worrying, maybe we’ll find a way to get back to exactly the moment we disappeared,” Barry points out hopefully. “Maybe,” she agrees, “probably not by sitting on the Ferris wheel though.” “Well, we should at least enjoy it until the ride is over,” Barry says with a wink. With Caitlin’s head on his shoulders, he just can’t help but feel happy. Deep down this thought is troubling him, had anyone asked him if he was happy a few days ago, he would with absolute certainty have replied yes, but now he has to admit to himself that he has forgotten what real happiness feels like. Because these last few days stranded in the past with Caitlin have made him happier than his last few years with Iris. Again, he’s appalled by the fact how little he’s been thinking of his wife recently.   
For a moment he tries to imagine being stuck in the past with Iris, but instead of feelings of happiness and camaraderie, he can only imagine annoyance and responsibility. Even though he feels responsible for Caitlin’s safety, he knows they are partners in this and can lean on each other, but with Iris he knows it would be up to him to save them, all the while sure that she would nag him for not doing things her way. He realizes that being trapped in the past with Caitlin feels more freeing than his, as he has to admit to himself, suffocating life in the present. 

Just as he’s about to share some of his feelings with Caitlin, the ride stops and they have to get out. They look at each other. “Okay, no more procrastination, if I were the evil alter ego of a brilliant scientist and father, where would I hide?” Caitlin smiles at Barry. “Definitely not in the middle of the crowd,” she takes a look around, “parking lot?” Barry nods and they head over there. 

 

“It’s about time you showed up,” Icicle’s voice booms across the deserted back area of the parking lot, “I thought I would have to…” But before he can finish his sentence, Frost has blasted him backwards. Barry starts running in circles, ready to throw a lightning bolt, when he sees a breach opening behind Caitlin. Swiftly, he flashes her over to the other side of the parking lot in front of a large forest. Turning, they see Icicle get back up and a new figure stepping beside him.   
“I thought it might be prudent to bring reinforcements,” Icicle explains with a smirk, “meet Swirl.” Clad in black and dark purple with a hoodie hiding half his face, the shorter meta-human just throws up his hands, letting another breach appear in front of him. 

Barry looks over at Frost, sharing a curt nod, readying themselves for the attack. As Swirl steps through the breach, reappearing close to the edge of the forest, Frost summons her Ice slide that takes her closer to her father. Barry, in turn, faces Swirl who starts throwing portal after portal towards him. Dodging yet another one, Barry runs around in circles creating enough electricity to throw at the metahuman, but just before it can hit him, another breach swallows the lightening.  
But Barry just continues to run and quickly throws a second bolt which manages to find its target. While Swirl is lying on the ground, Barry chances a quick glance towards Frost, who’s at the moment drawing up an ice wall to thwart off her father’s ice shards. 

“If you don’t come willingly, Caity, I’m going to have to use force,” Icicle shouts. Encasing her arm in ice, she’s moving closer and closer to him, hitting every ice bullet that comes her way. Sensing that she has this under control at the moment, Barry looks back down at Swirl. “Why are you doing this?,” he demands, “You don’t have to help him, just send us back to our time.” Swirl just grins. “It’s none of your business why I do what I do. Let’s just say, he has something that I need.”   
Suddenly he disappears through a breach opening right under him, before reappearing next to Icicle. In an instant Barry has joined Frost’s side, pushing her swiftly away from a new portal created right next to her. Angered, Frost spins around and sends an icy blast towards Swirl, which gets absorbed by another breach and comes back to hit Barry in the back. The second he hits the ground, he gets swallowed by a portal before reappearing on the other side of the carnival. Running as fast as he can, he returns to the parking lot to find it empty. No sign of Caitlin, Frost, Icicle or Swirl, just darkness surrounding him and in the distant the cheerful sounds of the fair.


	3. Chapter 3

Wasting no time, Barry runs until he’s back in the present. Well actually a few days in the future to be exact. From the speedlab, he runs directly to Cisco’s lab, relieved to find his friend working there.  
“Hey,” he calls out a little out of breath while leaning on the doorframe. Startled, Cisco spins around, his eyes growing wide upon seeing his friend. “Barry?!,” he shouts, jumping up from his chair and running towards Barry hugging him tightly, “Oh my god, where have you been? Are you okay? Where’s Caitlin?”  
“She’s still stuck in the past,” Barry replies quickly, “please tell me you’ve been working on a way to track us?” “Is my name not Cisco Ramon?” Cisco grins, relieved to at least have Barry back, “I have the computer up and running, but I don’t know what to focus it on, I can’t narrow anything down.” “It’s okay, we’ve managed to build a tracker, if we calibrate the search algorithm, it should be able to pick up Caitlin’s signal,” Barry explains as he starts inputting some data. 

“I guess, now we wait,” Barry says after a few minutes, even though the thought of being inactive while Caitlin might be in danger is physically hurting him. What if she loses the tracker or Icicle takes it from her, what if it doesn’t work after all, what if …  
“So are you going to fill me in on what happened to you at some point?” Cisco asks a little reproachfully. Barry looks up, pulled from his thoughts. “Sorry, Cisco. It’s all a bit much. So short version, Icicle kidnapped Caitlin and sent her to different moments of her childhood to get her to help him. He’s been working with some kind of metahuman that can open breaches through space and time. Until just now, I’ve managed to stay with her, even though I couldn’t run both of us back to the present, but now, they managed to separate us and they have her god knows where, or rather when, and we need to find her fast, so I can go get her back,” Barry recounts agitated.  
Cisco stares at him for a second, before taking action. “Okay, so we’ll need to come up with a way to bring Caitlin back from the past with you. Let me think about this, I guess we could use some version of Thawne’s time sphere.” Barry nods, grateful that Cisco’s so quick to catch on. “Maybe you should go tell Iris you’re back though,” Cisco offers with a side glance to Barry, as he starts to get to work, “I’ll call as soon as I know something.” It takes Barry a moment to realize what Cisco’s been saying. “Oh, yeah, I guess, I should…” Barry trails off, but gets up nonetheless and leaves, while Cisco’s eyes follow him surprised.

 

He finds Iris in the cortex hunched over the computer at the main console, he takes a moment to look at her and search his feelings. Of course, he’s glad to see her, but that’s all it is. The relief he feels comes from Cisco working on a solution, the rest is of him is filled with anxiety stemming from his worry about Caitlin. If he had to put his feelings for Iris in one word, sadly it would be indifference. He hasn’t actually missed her over the past few days and it wouldn’t have mattered to him if he hadn’t gotten to see her for a little while longer. Realizing all this, Barry guesses he can now add guilt to the variety of his feelings. He can’t believe this much could change in just a few days, but maybe, not that much changed in the end, he just confronted some of his emotions and finally acknowledged how he’s been feeling for a while. Sighing, he clears his throat, readying himself for the hurt he’s going to have to cause Iris soon. 

“Barry?” Iris asks incredulously, before jumping up and throwing herself into his arms. He returns the gesture reluctantly, unsure how to act towards her. “Where have you been?” she wants to know, taking a step back and looking at him. “In the past,” Barry starts before telling her the same short version of events as Cisco.  
“But if you came back on your own, why didn’t you come back to the moment that you left?” Iris demands, “I wouldn’t have had to worry for days where you are.” “I’m really sorry, Iris. I couldn’t come back right to that moment, I needed to give Cisco some time to program the computers to track us,” he explains.  
“Okay, but couldn’t you have come back and told Cisco to work on that though?” Iris wonders a little irritated. “Yeah, but then Caitlin would have been stuck in the past while I was just waiting around here.” “But it’s time travel, couldn’t you just go back to the moment she’s taken, no time would have to pass for her.”  
“Maybe, but time travel is unpredictable, I couldn’t risk it and I wouldn’t want to, I’m already going crazy not being able to do anything right now, I couldn’t have sat around and done nothing for days,” Barry admits with a small smile, but he’s met with anger flashing through Iris’ eyes.  
“So, you prefer me to sit around and worry for days?!” “I’m really sorry, Iris.” “Are you? Because you always do this, Barry, you always act without thinking how things affect me. You just jump into a breach after Caitlin with no idea what lies ahead, if you’ll even survive, and no regards for my feelings.”  
“I had no choice,” Barry replies vehemently, “what did you want me to do?” “Discuss it with the team,” Iris hisses back. “You mean discuss it with you, “ Barry snaps back, his irritation getting the better of him, “but there was no time, I had to act or Caitlin could have been lost, would have been lost.”  
“And I could have lost you. You could have lost me! So you think that’s better than losing Caitlin?” Taken aback, Barry isn’t sure how to respond, because she’s right, that’s exactly how he feels. There’s a lot of things he can fault her for, but this right here, is his fault, he did put Caitlin’s safety, life, even happiness before everybody else’s and he can’t regret it, because that’s what he’s always done and that’s what he’ll always do. 

“I’m sorry, Iris. You’re right.” She starts to look a little mollified, but then Barry continues. “I didn’t want to do this now, but I don’t want to pretend anymore. This, us, it’s not working anymore. I’m not happy. I haven’t been happy for a while now and I’m sorry for keeping that from you, actually, I think I’ve been keeping it from myself as well. I never knew denial could be this strong, but that’s exactly what I’ve been doing, I’ve been in denial. But I’m not anymore and I need to finally be honest with me and with you.”  
Iris just stares at him for a long time. “After everything I’ve done for you, this is what I get?” she asks coldly. Barry doesn’t exactly know what she means with everything she’s done for him, but he deems it unsafe to say so.  
“You’re right, we’re done, Barry.” She walks out of the cortex, letting her wedding ring hit the ground as she does so.

Sighing Barry picks it up, takes off his own and puts both of them in the drawer of the console. He knows they need to really talk about this at some point, but right now all he wants to do is focus on getting back to the past. So he hurries off to find Cisco, ignoring the guilt tugging at him for how much lighter he’s feeling already.

“Anything new?” Barry wonders as he reenters Cisco’s lab which is now filled with Thawne’s time sphere which Cisco must have breached back here. “I was just about to call you,” Cisco replies pointing triumphantly at the sphere, “I got it to work. It should work like a real time machine, except you need to run fast enough to open up a breach for it to go through, but once it’s in the speed force it will find its way to the right destination on its own.”  
“Wow, thanks, Cisco,” Barry smiles, amazed once again by his friend’s abilities, “you really are a genius, you know that right?” “I do,” the mechanical engineer grins, “but it’s always nice to be appreciated.” “I’ll breach it to the speed lab, so we’re ready the second, the computer finds Caitlin’s signal,“ he adds, “I think it’s closing in on it, but the computer still needs to sift through all of the tracker's locations from the past and find the most recent one, to us.”  
Barry nods gratefully before refocusing his attention on the screen, hoping that it will indeed finally tell them where Caitlin is. Although Iris is right, it shouldn’t matter how long this takes since he can just run to the moment she’s disappeared, time travel is tricky. He needs to find out where she is right now, or what feels like right now for him, the location right after the carnival. He could, of course, go back to the carnival or even earlier, in a manner of speaking, but he can’t risk doing anything that could mess with the timeline. 

Suddenly, the computer chimes. Finally. Caitlin seems to be at the Tannhauser black site only a few years in the past. While wondering if he’ll have to face two versions of Icicle, Barry runs to the speedlab and gives the data to Cisco who inputs them in the time sphere. “Want me to come with you?” Cisco offers, but Barry shakes his head. “Thanks, man, but I need you here in case something goes wrong.” Cisco nods and gives Barry a hug. “Go get our girl back.” Barry nods determined. “I will.” And with that, he starts running until he has opened a breach and with a little nudge the time sphere goes through first before Barry follows it back to the past.

 

 

They land safely outside of the building, a snowstorm blowing around Barry, just like his last visit. Nothing on the outside gives him any clue to a time, but he can feel it in his bones, he’s exactly where he’s supposed to be. He pushes the time sphere a little into a corner of the building, shielding it from view and from the wind.  
First, he’s going to enter the site on his own, find out what’s he up against. Though Barry tells himself over and over that Icicle wouldn’t want to hurt Caitlin, his worried mind keeps conjuring up images of the contrary. 

As soon as he has phased through the concrete wall, he hears … nothing. Everything around him is dead silent, not even machines whirring in the distance or electricity humming around him. Gulping, he forces himself to take another step forward through the darkness, slowly, not wanting to make the slightest noise. What if they aren’t here? All he knows for sure is that the tracker is here, what if Icicle found the tracker and left it here for him to find or even to set a trap? Or what if everything is so eerily quiet because all that’s left to find is the tracker around Caitlin’s lifeless body?

Barry has to close his eyes for a second and take slow deep breaths, trying to get these images out of his head. He can't let himself drown in worry, he needs to push it down, like he has done so many times before. When Snart had taken Caitlin, he had put his worry aside and gone out to face him. When Grodd kidnapped her and he still couldn’t rely on his feet to carry him, he had to push his fears aside and find another way. When Zoom took her in front of his eyes and he didn’t have his speed to go after her, he did break, but then he pulled himself up again, risking his life to get his speed back, to get her back. When Killer Frost tried to take Caitlin away, side with Savitar, …  
But it got easier, every time it got easier, not easier to worry less or feel less, but it got easier to push it all down. But this time, the memory from his visit to the past, to Zoom, is still too fresh and whatever it has kicked loose inside him, makes it impossible to shove more feelings down there.  
Everything he has pushed aside over the years, every feeling he hasn’t dealt with afterwards has broken loose and is pouring out of him and he can’t ignore it anymore. So instead Barry lets himself feel, feel it all, the worry Caitlin could be hurt, the heart-wrenching fear that he could lose her, the guilt that it would be his fault, the sorrow, the pain, the agony, … the happiness when she’s around, the joy whenever she smiles at him, the serenity when she hugs him, the love he feels for her.

Lightning is flashing through his eyes when Barry opens them again, his jaw clenched, he is ready to face whatever stands in his way. Soundlessly he makes his way to the center of the building, coming to a stop in front of a big metal door, still, no sound escapes the room. Carefully, he phases through the wall and the moment he emerges on the other side, he can hear her, defiant as ever. A relieved smile appears on Barry’s face as he inches closer, staying hidden in the shadows. 

 

In the center of the room stands Icicle, facing Caitlin who’s been bound to a chair. “I don’t care, I will never help you,” she’s shouting, straining to break free of her bonds. Icicle sighs deeply. “We’ve been through this Caity, I don’t want to hurt you, but I will if I have to.” “I don’t think you could hurt me even if you wanted to,” she spits back.  
“Then I’ll have him do it,” her father’s alter ego shouts angrily. At that moment Swirl steps into view, hidden before by a container, actually more of a freezing chamber, as Barry can slowly make out a figure inside. It must be this time’s version of Icicle, frozen, for the time being, to last longer. Barry’s eyes travel back to Swirl, who, now with his hoodie off, seems much younger, sixteen, maybe eighteen.  
“Woah, I did not sign up for that,” the young boy refuses with his hands held up. “What did you sign up for,” Caitlin asks him with a sweet smile that could disarm any foe. Hesitant he looks form Icicle to Caitlin. “I… well… I agreed to send you to different places in time, so I could get the cure.”  
“The metahuman cure?” Caitlin wonders surprised, while Barry keeps edging closer. “No,” Swirl replies confused, “the cure for…” But Icicle interrupts him. “It really doesn’t matter, that’s between him and me. Now back to you, Caity, if he won’t do it, I still might,” he snarls as he leans in closer, a long shard of ice forming in his fist, the tip pushing slowly into Caitlin’s neck. Cursing on the inside, Barry defies his need to rush in and cases his surroundings first, making sure there are no traps. But his eyes keep finding Caitlin who just stares back at Icicle without blinking.  
And once again he is amazed by her courage, especially after he spots a pair of metahuman cuffs on her wrist, which would explain why Frost hasn’t made an appearance yet. Good thing he brought his own pair and more importantly the key to them. Being certain now that the site is trap free and knowing that he needs to use the element of surprise if he wants to overpower the breacher, Barry starts running.

 

Before anybody can register anything, he has undone the cuffs on Caitlin’s wrists, put them on Icicle instead and used the other pair to incapacitate Swirl. Standing in the middle, taking another sweeping look around the room to make sure he has indeed the upper hand, Barry can’t help but feel very smug. The moment the cuffs were lifted from Caitlin, Frost has reappeared and is already freezing the ties around her. After shattering them, she jumps from the chair, taking her own look around the room, before facing Barry.  
“Took you long enough,” she teases him. But Barry just grins at her, relieved to his core, already taking a step towards her, ready to hug her tight. When he suddenly hears a clinkering sound of something metal falling to the ground.

He flips around to find Icicle’s shackles on the ground. He had forgotten that he must have a key to his own pair of cuffs. Kicking himself on the inside, Barry’s about to attack, but Icicle has already frozen Swirl’s cuffs which are breaking apart at this very moment. Barry runs towards them, but he’s sucked through a portal before he can register what happened. Not even wasting one glance at his new whereabouts, Barry runs back into the speed force until he’s back at the black site, where he’s hit by another portal the second he emerges from his own tear in the fabric of reality.  
So he runs back again, this time trying to attack Swirl from behind, but again he’s hit by a breach the moment he enters the room. Still, it was enough time for the speedster to see that Frost is still fighting Icicle, which calms him a little. And back again, Barry runs. Although he can’t fight against the portal, this time he was more prepared. Clutching the metahuman cuffs he’s grabbed the second he was back in the room, Barry runs his way back to the Tannhauser black site once more.

But this time he doesn’t emerge inside the room, instead, he’s standing on top of the room. When he isn’t met by a portal, he can’t help a smile. He knows he has to act quickly since Swirl seems to be able to sense his presence when he’s close by and when he’s searching for it, but hopefully, this constant vigilance is taxing him and he won’t expect Barry to fall from the sky. So, he phases right through the ceiling, landing on top of the metahuman, cuffing him as he does so. 

Barry then turns towards Frost who seems to have the upper hand against Icicle even if she can’t keep him down long enough to contain him. Swiftly, Barry throws a bolt of lightning which sends Icicle flying through the room. Frost conjures a hail of ice that keeps falling onto Thomas’ alter ego, making it difficult for him to get up, giving Barry the opportunity to punch him out cold.  
“We need to find a way to contain him,” Barry calls as he starts looking around the room. “The cryo-chamber,” Caitlin replies pointing at a second one right next to the one containing her father’s past self. Together they drag Icicle into the container, closing the door on him with a sigh of relief. Quickly Barry turns around and wraps his arms around Caitlin, while her arms go around his waist. “I’m so glad you’re safe,” he whispers into her hair as a sense of peace sweeps over him.

 

“How are we getting home,” Caitlin wonders after a while, slowly stepping out of his embrace. “I brought the time sphere,” Barry replies, “but that will only fit one.” Caitlin looks over to the young boy who’s still lying on the ground where Barry landed on top of him. “Maybe, he can help,” she mutters as she kneels in front of him, slowly shaking him awake. “Hey, are you okay?” she asks kindly as he comes around. Swirl nods hesitantly. “What are you going to do with me?”  
“Nothing, if you tell us the truth,” she replies, “what did he promise you? A cure for what?” Swirl still seems unsure if he can trust them, but answers nonetheless. “A cure for ALS.” Caitlin shares a worried look with Barry. “Did he tell you what that cure would imply?” Swirl shakes his head. Caitlin sighs deeply, before explaining to him what her father had done to her and what consequences it entails. While she’s talking, Barry retrieves the key and opens Swirl’s cuffs, who’s looking more and more defeated.  
“I’m sorry,” Caitlin says in the end, “there is no easy cure, but if you help us get back to our present, I promise I’ll keep looking for a solution.” After a moment, he looks up and nods. 

Smiling, Caitlin turns back to Barry. “Maybe we should put the cuffs on Icicle, he will be easier to transport that way.” So they slowly bring down the temperature of the cryo-chamber before Barry opens it and quickly flashes the cuffs on Icicle’s wrists. “Okay, Swirl, your turn,” he says, but as he turns around there is no sign of the metahuman anymore. “Great,” he mumbles, “I guess he still didn’t trust us after all.” “But he’ll know where to find us if he ever decides he wants our help after all,” Caitlin points out. “Yeah, but first we need to get back to our time,” Barry replies with a sigh.

So Frost conjures up an ice slide and they drag a still unconscious Icicle to the time sphere. “You can just run him back and then return for me,” Caitlin declares resolved. Barry looks over at her, clearly freezing in the snowstorm howling around them, but with determination written across her face, and he knows he just can’t do it. He's aware that it’s way more dangerous to leave Icicle here and that the time sphere will only fit one person, but he just can’t part from her again. After everything they’ve been through, after everything he finally admitted to himself, he now knows one thing for sure, he needs Caitlin by his side. He doesn’t know what the future could bring for them, but one thing has become crystal clear to him, he loves Caitlin Snow.

There is a power in admitting one’s own true feelings, even just to oneself, and Barry can feel himself being filled with a new kind of power, a confidence that makes a smile slowly spread across his face. “What?” Caitlin demands. “I’ll run us back,” Barry just states matter-of-factly. “Barry you tried this already,” she replies with a sigh. But he just grins at her. “You’re going to have to trust me, Dr. Snow.” She looks at him for a moment longer before returning his smile. “I always do.” 

 

Sweeping her off her feet, Barry holds on tight to Caitlin as he starts running, knowing in his core that this time he’ll be able to open a breach and run them both back. And so he does, like he’s done a million times before. The moment the portal to the speed force opens up, he sends the time sphere through, before tightening his grip on Caitlin in his arms and running into the speed force as well. Barry is used to seeing glimpses of his past and future while running through the speed force but this time, feeling Caitlin’s arms around his neck and her head tugged against his collar bone, all he sees are images of Caitlin flying by. 

 

_“I need you to urinate in this.”_ The first time he ever laid eyes on her, right after waking up from that coma, she was all business, still, she was the first thing he’d seen, her hands the first thing he felt, calming him despite everything.  
_“I notice you don’t smile too much.”_ The pain that had irradiated from her back then, the walls she had put up after Ronnie. _“I didn't want him to be a hero. I wanted him to be my husband.”_ Holding her for the first time, maybe he had been able to ease some of her pain. He still thought that making her smile again was his greatest accomplishment in life.  
_“I already lost someone I cared about in this building. I can't do it again.”_ She had faced all these fears, for him, with him, holding his hand as they waited in the dark to be discovered. _“I believe. You should too.”_ She has always believed in him, way before he even believed in himself, making him a better hero. But she also believed in him as a person, valued him for who he is, not just as the Flash but as Barry. _“With or without your speed, you're still you, Barry.”_

____

__

_“I don't always dress like a high school principal”_ That night had totally taken him by surprise, out with Caitlin, singing karaoke, seeing Caitlin let loose, it was one of his most cherished memories. _“But what you don't realize is, you need a little saving, too”_ Even drunk, she has seen through him, gotten him in a way no one else ever did.  
_“Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”_ The unguardedness of that moment, sitting there with her, watching over her, it was in that moment that he truly fell in love with Caitlin Snow, but he had been too scared to admit it, even to himself, still hung up on Iris.

Barry sees memory after memory, of Caitlin smiling at him, sweet, soft, head tilted, encouraging, _“You know, Ralph not blackmailing the mayor, helping to save Joe, it doesn’t really sound like something a villain would do”_ making him a better person. _“You okay, Barry?”_ Always sensing when he was down. _“You seem like you could use a hug too.”_

Always by his side, always there to patch him up, have his back _“I was just explaining to Iris and Eddie about your Lightning Psychosis”,_ risk her life for his _“No, don't come for me. Stay away!”, “You need to let him go, Grodd”, “If anything you ever said to me was true, or anything we ever shared was real, then please just let him go”_. He sees her freezing the mirror to let him out, freezing Iris’ arm, freezing Savitar to save his life, over and over again, she was there when he needed her. Supporting him. _“What if we watched it together?”, “It's not a burden if we shoulder it together”._

As the images keep flashing past him, Barry starts making out some that he hasn’t experienced yet, possibilities of a future with Caitlin. He’s standing in front of the door of her apartment, a flower in his hand, clearly nervous. A soft kiss they share in a parc somewhere, a sweet peck on her lips as he walks into the cortex, an intense kiss as he presses her against her bedroom door, a brush of their lips as they wake up in the morning, laughter shared as they cuddle on the couch, teasing each other in the speedlab, Flash and Frost fighting side by side, holding her close as he lies in the medbay, kneeling in front of her at the stage of the karaoke bar holding a ring in his hand, Caitlin in a breathtaking dress walking down the aisle, in the hospital holding their newborn, … A future full of possibilities, hope, happiness and though Barry doesn’t know what will happen next or when it will happen, he knows that he’s going to do everything in his powers to assure he gets to have this future with Caitlin, the woman he loves.


End file.
